The test didn’t go too well either – according to the results, I was Vault 101’s designated fry cook. I fought them until Butch gave up and called his goons off.
They were harassing my best friend Amata by the water cooler, threatening to break a few of her bones for telling on them. My mid-teens featured a particularly nasty run-in with Butch’s gang, the Tunnel Snakes, ahead of the life-changing Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test. I didn’t tell any adults I said that I was the innocent birthday boy. I may have also brought up the fact his mum is an alcoholic, which no doubt angered him further. Ne’er-do-well Butch DeLoria tried to steal the sweetroll that Old Lady Palmer gave me – he started attacking me when I said no so I went back at him. before settling on the idea that adult me would be built like a brick shithouse, dumb as a bag of hammers, and extremely lucky. I recall escaping from a playpen and leafing through a copy of S.P.EC.I.A.L. It was not a usual birth but I am not a usual boy. I remember being born: the blinding bright light, the gentle voice of my father, Liam Neeson, asking me all sorts of philosophical questions like who I want to be when I grow up. May 10,2021 This article was originally published as part of our week-long celebration of Fallout’s 20th anniversary back in October, 2017.
